Coventry woman uses TikTok to talk about her grief after her wife’s death

“I don’t know anyone else my age that is married… never mind married and widowed.”

Growing up in Birmingham, Tania Pomroy moved to Coventry to study at university. When she arrived at her student halls, she had no idea the girl in the next room, Charlotte Thomas, would one day become her wife.

They married on 23 September 2023, exactly six years after the day they met.

But five months later, in February 2024, Charlotte died, leaving Tania a widow at 24.

“I feel like you never really come across many young widows so I felt really isolated at the start,” she said.

Tania had never experienced grief in this way before and said she felt like her memory from that time had been wiped.

“At the very start I was kind of just going on autopilot and then you have all the secondary losses of relationships with other people,” she said.

“I had to leave my job eventually too.

“When you lose your person it’s not just the person that you lose, it’s yourself and everything that makes you, you, in the process.”

But there was a small light in the dark for her – making videos and posting them online.

She started making YouTube videos in 2020 and, after the launch of TikTok, began posting similar content there.

In the weeks after Charlotte passed away, she posted a video sharing the news, with footage of them in their wedding dresses.

To date, it has had more than 7.8 million views.

“I think for me it was almost at the time the one part of my life that was kind of normal… I’m guessing that’s why I picked up the camera and carried on doing that,” Tania said.

“I do remember seeing the response to it and being like: ‘Oh my gosh, look at all these comments coming in’.

“I only really posted it for friends and family… only had a few thousand followers.”

Over the next year, Tania continued to post on the app, shifting much of her content to sharing her grief and talking about her mental health.

Her followers grew and she said many related to her experience.

“I’ve built a little community of fellow grievers over there that I actually find so wholesome in a way,” she said.

“It actually shows you that you’re not alone; there are other people out there that are 24 years old and widowed, it’s not just you.”

She added the support had helped her hugely with her grieving journey.

“I was welcomed in with such open arms and it’s so nice now that I’ve created a space where I can welcome other people in with open arms,” she said.

“If anything positive has come out of this, then that’s definitely one of those things.”

More than a year since her wife died, Tania, now 25, started incorporating her hobbies and interests into her content for her nearly 200,000 followers.

She went backpacking in Thailand in January – a trip which Charlotte wanted to do.

“She would be so shocked that I’ve done it… but she would also be really proud that I’m getting out there and seeing the world and hopefully sharing a little bit of it with her… we’re going to have so much to catch up on,” she said.

Tania said posting about Charlotte helped keep her memory alive.

“I always called her my sunshine because she was just the warmest person and she had the kindest heart; she was so adventurous and she made life so fun and exciting and made you happy to live,” she added.

Looking ahead, she said she wanted to raise awareness about grief and mental health as well as share her life.

“A widow is a widow, it doesn’t matter whether you’re 25 or you’re 75,” she said.

“Everyone is going to experience grief at some point, so if we talk about it more and it’s a little bit less taboo, then we’ll realise that we’re all going to be in the same boat, and we can help and support each other.”

• If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this story, information and support can be found at the BBC’s Action Line.